sophomore slump

The same old, same old. The boring routine. The lack of excitement. For some reason, most of my sophomore friends have been feeling, like myself, that this semester is just not the same as last year. We are no longer freshman, so the novelty and excitement of college life and being away from our parents is gone (if anything, most of us wish we could spend more time at home). Next year will bring another wave of "new-ness" as most of us move off-campus and into our first apartments or houses. But for now, we are stuck in the sophomore slump.

I've been intrigued by this phenomenon ever since I started noticing it around me after fall break. Wikipedia, of course, even has an article on it -- it is "an instance in which a second, or sophomore effort, fails to live up to the standards of the first effort....commonly used to refer to the apathy of students." Freshman year was awesome; there is no doubt about that. I had a great suite of girls living in the best freshman dorm on campus, I got involved in organizations that I liked, and I loved being on my own and in a new town. So I guess you could say that this year has not lived up to last, a difficult task in and of itself. It seems to me that this "sophomore slump" is just a phase that most, if not all, second-year college students go through, but I think there are some things we can do to soften the blow.

Through my "slump" time so far this year, God has brought to my attention a few things that I needed to learn about myself.
1. I am in desperate need of a Savior. No matter how hard I try, I cannot save myself. I can try pretty hard to get my life into order, but ultimately, it will fail. My plans are so minute compared to His much bigger and greater plan for me. This is such a blessing because if I had control over every single thing in my life, I would fall apart.

2. This world is not where I belong. I can find a place here on Earth that I feel most at home, that I feel I belong to. But no matter where I am, I know that I have a much better place waiting for me in heaven. So I can't put too much value on things of this world because they will ultimately fade away. Matthew wrote, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21)

3. I do not put my joy in the Lord, where it should be. Instead, I put my joy in things of this world -- my academic success, my future after college, my friends, etc., and when those things let me down, I lose my joy. J.D. Greear spoke about this a couple weeks ago at the Summit, and he asked the congregation if we were constantly joyful. He said, "If God is our delight, we WILL be constantly joyful." God never lets us down, so if our joy is in Him, then we WILL be constantly joyful. It seems like a simple concept, but it's one that I have failed on time and time again. (Listen to J.D.'s sermon here -- the one on power, it's awesome).

This all goes to say that I think the best way we can get over the "sophomore slump" is by putting our joy and our delight in the Lord. For me, that means spending some more time with Him and a little less time in front of the TV. Maybe it means starting the day off with a few minutes in prayer, rather than a few minutes on Facebook. Or maybe it's caring more about what God's love than the love and approval of your friends or the grades from your professors. All I'm saying is that there is hope, and that hope comes from the Lord.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4

revamped

As I have just spent approximately an hour that I could have spent on school work on redecorating my blog, I feel as though I should begin to post again. So here are my thoughts, ideas, photos, or anything that I feel the need to share with the world (or the one or two people who will actually read this).

I am back in Chapel Hill after a summer spent in one of my favorite plaeces in the world: a couple of border towns in the state of Tamaulipas in Mexico. I worked with Faith Ministry in Reynosa and Miguel Aleman as a long-term volunteer/intern. These places are my second homes, so needless to say, it's been difficult transitioning back to life here. As I sit here drinking peach Jumex out of a can (something I was very excited to find at Harris Teeter), I can't help but wishing I was in the complex in Reynosa, drinking Coke out of a glass bottle and eating queso blanco quesadillas. Over the past few weeks, however, God's been showing me that while a part of my heart is always in Mexico, Chapel Hill is where I need to be right now.

On a completely separate note, one of my favorite albums right now is Needtobreathe's new one, The Outsiders. I think my favorite song so far is "Garden," referring to the garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus went with the disciples the night before his crucifixion to pray. Not only do the lyrics speak so much truth, but the music is, of course, great as well. See them perform it live at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=li8aiGtNyZo.

Won't you take this cup from me

'Cause fear has stolen all my sleep

If tomorrow means my death

I pray you'll save their souls with it

Let the songs I sing

Bring joy to you

Let the words I say profess my love

Let the notes I choose

Be your favorite tune

Father let my heart be after You

In this hour of doubt I see

But who I am is not just me

So give me strength to die myself

So love can live to tell the tale

Let the songs I sing

Bring joy to you

Let the words I say profess my love

Let the notes I choose

Be your favorite tune

Father let my heart be after You

Lucky for us in the Chapel Hill/Carrboro area, the band is coming to play at Cat's Cradle on September 25th. You can buy tickets online in advance for only $12! Everyone should come and enjoy the music of this great band.

Paradox

My friend Alex and I went around the arboretum on campus the other day, just to take pictures and enjoy the beautiful day. We found this amazing tree, and I loved how the picture turned out with each of us standing next to it. It reminded me of how utterly small I am in the midst of God's huge presence. It's such an interesting paradox to me. On one hand, we are just little specks compared to the greatness of God's majesty and creation. Yet, on the other hand, God loves each of us individually just as much, and what's even more: that love is unconditional -- there is nothing we could do to make God love us more, and there is nothing we have done that makes God love us any less. He knows everything about us (every hair on our head even!), yet He also created an infinite number of other people that He loves just as much and knows everything about also. Oh, but wait, He also created billions upon billions of animals and plants. Oh, but there's more! He also sculpted and painted the majestic landscapes that we see at the Grand Canyon and in deep gorges and in sunrises and sunsets. It is truly amazing.

"He must become greater;
I must become less."
- John 3:30

My sister & I enjoying the New River Gorge

stars in the sky

"They made their way three-quarters up the dock and lay down on their backs looking up. The elevation of this place seemed to magnify the heavens, and Mack reveled in seeing stars in such numbers and clarity. Jesus suggested that they close their eyes for a few minutes, allowing the last effects of dusk to disappear for the night. Mack complied, and when he finally opened his eyes, the sight was so powerful that he experienced vertigo for a few seconds. It almost felt like he was falling up into space, the stars racing toward him as if to embrace him. He lifted his hands imagining that he could reach out and pluck diamonds one by one, off of a velvet-black sky."
- Wm. Paul Young, The Shack



I have almost finished this book, and so far, this is one of my favorite passages. It immediately brought me to Chris Tomlin's song, "Indescribable," and reminded me of times when I have laid on the cement roof in Miguel Aleman, Mexico, and looked up at the stars, thinking, There is no way that I cannot love and want to know a God like this.

"Indescribable, uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky and
You know them by name.

You are amazing God."

- Chris Tomlin

always first

It's a good thing that God is nocturnal (or I'm assuming that He is) because I always seem to "get around" to time with Him in the wee hours of the morning. As is the case now, at 2:30 am. My roommate (who is awesome and incredible, and I couldn't ask for a better one) and I decided to hold each other accountable for this Lent promise we've made, and today she showed me a section of her devotional book that really spoke to what we are committing to do. The key verse for the chapter is out of Matthew 10 and is about taking up our cross and following Christ. The author of the devotional (Purity for Young Women) writes: "If we are to trust Christ, we must trust Him and place Him at the very center of our beings. Jesus never comes 'next.' He is always first."

It hits me now how true that is. I am looking back and realizing how much stuff I put before God today so that my time with Him has been pushed back until late late at night. I got all of my homework out of the way before I got to spend time with Him. How incredibly backwards is that? I yearn for the desire to really want to spend time with the Lord every single day of my life, but I so often find myself wanting other things more. I find myself "too busy" all the time, whether that's actually being productive or whether that's wasting my life away on Facebook. A quote that the author gives in the devotional speaks to this exactly:

"Make a plan now to keep a daily appointment with God. The enemy is going to tell you to set it aside, but you must carve out the time. If you're too busy to meet with the Lord, friend, then you are simply too busy."
- Charles Swindoll

40 days

So I'm beginning this blog with the intention of writing in it every day during Lent. Or at least I will try. I've grown up practicing the traditional "sacrificing" of Lent, giving up something each year to, in a very small way, reflect Jesus' sacrifice for us on the cross at Easter. I've given up chocolate, soda, sweet tea, etc. When I was younger, I used to think I was clever and would say I was giving up homework. One thing I've always been told though is that it can also be beneficial to "add something," or promise that you will try something for the 40 days of Lent. These have always fallen through for me; I've tried "being nicer to my sister" or "working out more," but they never get accomplished. I believe it's because adding something beneficial to your life is less concrete than not eating a certain food or drinking a certain beverage. However, this year, I am committed to my Lent promise.

I am doing the traditional sacrifice, and I am going 40 days without eating pizza. This might be difficult when pizza is the only edible option at the dining hall. However, I am also trying a new thing.

I realized tonight during a time of worship at my school that I have never spent time with God every day straight for 40 days. Never. Ever. In the 8 or so years that I have called myself a follower of Christ, I have never gone a longer amount of time than 2 weeks or so in which I have consistently talked to the Lord, read His word, or spent time in prayer. So that is my commitment this Lent, one that I am not going to forget about.

I so often forget about God's role in my life as a friend. He is my best friend, so why would I not want to "hang out" with Him every day. He already knows everything I am going to say, but that doesn't mean He doesn't want to hear it. God enjoys hearing from us. As it says in Zephaniah, He takes great delight in us. When we wake up in the morning, God says, "Yes! I get to spend another day with her!" That is so incredibly awesome.

"Be joyful always; pray continually;
give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will
for you in Christ Jesus."

- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18